I'M TIRED BOSS 😩😩 | Newsletter T3W7

Captain’s Log, Exam Day No. 39:

Morale aboard the vessel is at an all-time low. The crew are bored. I am bored. We remain trapped in the cursed current of Eat, Sleep, Study, repeat, with no land in sight and burnout reaching levels previously thought impossible by modern science.

Supplies are dwindling. I have not touched grass in days. Human contact has been reduced to the occasional haunted glance exchanged with the library guards at 2am, both of us knowing I have long since abandoned hope.

In my weaker moments, I have entered into a polyamorous throuple with Instagram Reels and TikTok, each dragging me further from the path of academic salvation. At night, the dreams have begun: visions of slamming back £2 vodka Red Bulls in Smack, like some distant promised land whispered of by sailors gone mad.

Below deck, the WBS students in my flat have commenced their seventh consecutive night of festivities, partying until 3am while the rest of us ration sleep like ship’s biscuits. Welcome Week now feels like a tale from another lifetime, passed down by elders around the fire.

The horizon offers no answers. The sea is cruel. The exam timetable unrelenting.

When will this hell end?!?

On a more serious note: I hope everyone all doing well and hanging in there. As always, we have our usual schedule of events this week to help aid both your revision and socialising. If things are ever getting too much, below is a reminder that our welfare team are just a DM away ❤️.

💜 Welfare Notice

UWCS has three Welfare Officers: Willow (Discord: moshimoo), Kevin (Discord: yummycatfood), and Erica (Discord: heldesar). They can also be reached via their email inbox at welfare@uwcs.co.uk.

You can speak to them at any time via Discord, email, and in person, for advice, signposting, and support. This can be for navigating the uni's support services, disclosing inappropriate or concerning behaviour at one of our events, and much more.

Any discussions you have with them will be treated sensitively. They will not share details more widely without your permission, except where they believe there is a serious risk of harm, a safeguarding concern, or another situation where they are required to escalate.

🍻 Pub Dinner 🍻

🕖 Mon 8th Jun 7pm - 9pm 📍 The Phantom Coach

"i dont feel like cooking today"

Oh, it's Monday!! What a shame. If only there was a place we could go to drown our sorrows in ... FOOD???

Join us at the Phantom Coach this evening for... whatever happens when you let university students off campus.

🃏 Wildcards & Chill (Study Session) 🃏

🕒 Wed 10th Jun 3pm - 5pm 📍 FAB1.15

CS257 past paper speedrun any%

Need to be locked in? Me too 😔

but we can do it together!! use fellow Wildcards as "GET OFF YOUR PHONE" alarm! and, also get some help from your peers or upper years!

But most importantly - FREE SNACK AND DRINKS‼️‼️ these will be provided from Co-op courtesy of DCS 🙏

🔐 CS140 - Computer Security - Revision Session 🔐

🕔 Wed 10th Jun 5pm - 8pm 📍 MS.01

channel your inner Elliot Alderson

Exams are approaching and rather than brute-force-ing your revision, come along to our CS140 Computer Security Revision Session! We'll be revisiting key topics, and exam doing exam preparation. Snacks may be salted or unsalted, so place this event on your rainbow table, AND MAKE SURE TO BE THERE.

🔤 CS259 - Formal Languages - Revision Lecture 🔤

🕐 Thu 11th Jun 1pm - 4pm 📍 L3

"wait, who was in the files???"

Exams are getting close, so we'll be having a very formal day. Whether you need a bit of fine-turing, want to pump to your hearts content, or just need some regular revision, come along and join us.

Say "Chomsky Sipser" and ill reply with "Chomsky did what..., to who..." (definitely a context-free joke), and together we can learn, laugh, and possibly cry about computability.

MAKE SURE TO BE THERE.

🏃 Run Club 🏃

🕔 Fri 12th Jun 5pm - 6pm 📍 Outside DCS

time to put those leg muscles back to good use...

Weekly runs, open to all members and friends of UWCS. An average week might look like a 5k around campus on a pre-planned route, but be ready for impromptu shenanigans as we are always looking for new ways to surprise and delight our attendees. FOR ALL ABILITY LEVELS. Whether this is your first or five hundredth time running, please show up, we're really nice! Strava - UWCS Run Club

• Meet outside DCS at 17:00. Won't leave right away.
• Exec responsible are Zach (doggy_w00f) and Alfie (brentfordarmy2398)

🎮 Friday Night Gaming (7pm to 1am) 🎮

🕖 Fri 12th Jun 7pm - Sat 13th Jun 1am 📍 CS0.03

FNG ACCOUNT IS BACK

Friday Nights. Gaming. FNG. That's all we've known. PCs, consoles, VR, snacks and drinks. The pinnacle. The untoppable and unstoppable force. Sometimes you must choose between the last U1 and continuing Never Gonna Give You Up on Clone Hero. Your home for some beats? Aye, a worthy sacrifice.

Join us in DCS every Friday from 7pm, until we close our doors at 1am due to exam season.

The Gaming Coordinators this year are: Raven, Laina, Luna, Santiago and Maddie - if you need help or just wanna yap, come find us :)

We have our DCS account login - any game (including via Steam!) that you can get running, you can play. We also have several consoles, including Xboxes, PS4, Switch 1 & 2, Wii, along with our PCs which I call Nuke Machine and Microwave, which you can use our Valve Index on, play Clone Hero, and more! We also have board games for anybody wanting a less tech-based way to enjoy games :)

Important: FNG is a sober event, please don't bring alcohol in, or you will be asked to leave. Also Important: Make sure to tidy up after yourself before leaving, the department does a great kindness in letting us run this event, preferably we stay on their good side!

Hope to see you there :3 (Note: you don't have to be a DCS student to come along!)

Odin's Exam Season Stats so far:
Red Bulls Consumed: 42
‘it can wait until tomorrow’s: 17
Hours Slept: -7
Deliveroos Ordered: 30
Surface Area of Eye bags: 29cm^2
Overdraft: yes.