Error 404: Motivation not found | Newsletter T2W3

Mon 26 Jan Newsletter

WARNING: This newsletter contains traces of caffeine, sleep deprivation, and questionable life choices. If you're reading this, congrats! You're yet to have been defeated by a semicolon (maybe you were trying to solve maths problems for your internship applications instead). We've reached week 3, where "debugging" becomes "staring at your screen and hoping the code fixes itself out of pity". But why fix the bugs? That sounds hard, they're features now. Instead, gaslight your IDE into thinking everything is fine, and procrastinate in ✨style✨ with this week's UWCS events. Weekly patch notes below:

Welfare Notice

UWCS has 2 Welfare Officers: Raven (Discord: raven0034) and Thomas (Discord: tomo.li) - good chance you've seen us around already with the exec hoodies on, but especially since we have a lot of new people, we want to make ourselves known. You can speak to us in-person, or message us over Discord, and we can help give you advice and signpost when you're going through stuff, whether that's trying to navigate the various support systems within the uni, or something has happened involving a member of the society e.g. at an event, and more. Starting uni can especially be quite overwhelming, just know we're here to help, and it's okay to not be okay!

🍔 Pub Dinner 🍔

🕖 Mon 26th Jan 7pm - 9pm 📍 The Phantom Coach

if (hungry) { visit_pub(); } else { visit_pub(); }

It's Monday already??? Well you know what that means, PUB! Join us at the Phantom Coach to socialise, grab some food and maybe a drink to kick your week off.

:3

🧩 Wildcards & Chill (Puzzles) 🧩

🕒 Wed 28th Jan 3pm - 5pm 📍 FAB2.35

Solving problems that don't involve error messages

ARE YOU READY FOR THE EVENT YOOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR‼️

its puzzle time.

with puzzle society!

we're gonna have a great collection of puzzles to solve, and, could it be, in a different room⁉️⁉️ the event will be in FAB2.35. be there.

But most importantly - FREE SNACK AND DRINKS‼️‼️ - these will be provided from Co-op courtesy of DCS 🙏

🍕 UWCS x LUNA Pizza Making 🍕

🕕 Thu 29th Jan 6pm - 9pm 📍 Burnsall House

Any pizza with pineapple on it will be subjected to a public inquiry

We're once again collaboration with our sponsor LUNA Students, to host another cooking social at Burnsall House, their brand new student accommodation - just a ~20 minute walk from campus!

This time, we'll be making pitta bread pizzas in their communal kitchen (Ingredients will be provided). We'll also have Nintendo Switches set up to pass the time while you cook.

We hope to see you there!

🏃‍♂️ Run Club 🏃‍♂️

🕔 Fri 30th Jan 5pm - 6pm 📍 Outside DCS

Upgrading our organic cooling systems

Weekly runs, open to all members and friends of UWCS. An average week might look like a 5k around campus on a pre-planned route, but as this is the very first term for which the event is being run, expect to see a variety of ideas each week.

FOR ALL ABILITY LEVELS.

Strava - UWCS Run Club

🎮 Friday Night Gaming 🎮

🕖 Fri 30th Jan 7pm - 5am 📍 CS0.03

The only event with a runtime longer than LOTR

Friday Nights. Gaming. FNG. That's all we've known. PCs, consoles, VR, snacks and drinks. The pinnacle. The untoppable and unstoppable force. Sometimes you must choose between the last U1 and continuing Never Gonna Give You Up on Clone Hero. Your home for some beats? Aye, a worthy sacrifice.

Join us in DCS every Friday from 7pm, until you see Raven conked out on the floor from exhaustion sometime on Saturday.

The Gaming Coordinators this year are: Raven (raven0034), Rob (spooky3142), Lyon (keyboardsky), Arda (mangowizard), Sharvil (w.0lf), Laina (vomitspawn), and Santiago (colombian.) - if you need help or just wanna yap, come find us :)

We have our DCS account login - any game (including via Steam!) that you can get running, you can play. We also have several consoles, including Xboxes, PS4, Switch 1 & 2, Wii, along with our PCs which I call Nuke Machine and Microwave, which you can use our Valve Index on, play Clone Hero, and more! We also have board games for anybody wanting a less tech-based way to enjoy games :)

Important: FNG is a sober event, please don't bring alcohol in, or you will be asked to leave.

Also Important: Make sure to tidy up after yourself before leaving, the department does a great kindness in letting us run this event, preferably we stay on their good side!

Hope to see you there :3 (Note: you don't have to be a DCS student to come along!)

Trigger Warning: Maths

Theorem: My sanity is a monotonically decreasing sequence, and it is rapidly approaching 0.

Base Case: Week 1 was stressful (s(1) > 0).

Inductive Step: By the Fundamental Theorem of Academic Burnout, if week k was stressful, week k + 1 is exponetially worse (s(k+1) = e^s(k)).

Observation: It is now week 3, and I am officially Fed Up™. My circadian rhythm is a divergent alternating series, and the cardinality of the set of empty monster cans on my desk must be more than Aleph-null by now (the Continuum Hypothesis suggests I have a problem). I spend my days calculating optimal sphere packings, and all I've proven is that if you define "stress" as an open ball, it is topologically impossible to pack any more stress into a bounded, human-shaped subset of 3-Dimensional space without overlapping.

Conclusion: I need a homeomorphism to a space where "being awake" is a disconnected component. Q.E.D.

-- Ray :) (I'm fine)